Welcome back readers! I'd like to thank Cupid for picking up some slack and for keeping Mystery Isle pretty clean. We hope you enjoy his interview!
My guests today are, Bear Zabarte and Flo Sonderlund – please, have a seat on our lovely couch! – from Carson City, Nevada. Their tale can be found in The Bloody Birthright and The Big Show Stopper, two novel creations by Ken Dalton.
Before we begin, I must remind everyone to please try and keep your responses to a PG13 atmosphere – the Moonlight Mistresses rules, not mine *eye roll*. Double entendres are acceptable and widely encouraged for events and phrases we don’t want our young readers to really know about. Oooh, it will be so much fun trying to guess what you’re really saying!
*Settling comfortably onto the sofa, draping his arm over the back and sipping his bubbly* That Miss Havana in Reaper’s Domain is one hot teacher and boy would I love to get into her…class! I might actually learn something…oh…did I say that out loud? *Clears throat* Sorry. Let’s get back to the interview.
You two make one fine pair! I did a wonderful job pairing you two up if I do say so myself! Then, I just love all of my matches!
Cupid: Please, Bear, tell our readers how you two first met. Was it by your design, or hers?
Bear: Huh! Did I plan it? Hell no. I was in LA, noising around, and Flo knocked on the dude's door.
Cupid: Flo, would you say it was love at first sight or did you find him repulsive?
Flo: I guess you could say I was lonely. And, take a look, Bear's a handsome man in a big, rugged way. Not many women I know would throw this guy out of bed, if you know what I mean.
Cupid: This one’s for both of you. Since chaotic happenstance tends to put characters like yourselves in situations where they must work together or live together for one reason or another, tell us what chaotic happenstance “forced” the two of you to work or live together. How did you feel about this?
Flo: It happened like this. A few weeks after Clark died – he was a friend who lived across the street from my house – I watched Bear jimmy the front door at Clark's home. I know that sounds bad, but Bear didn't look like a burglar, and as I said, I was very lonely, so I waited till the next day, to build up my courage, knocked on the front door, and invited myself in.
Bear (smiling): I remember that morning. My eyes popped out at her great body. I mean she has a pair of . . .
Cupid: *clears throat* Please remember the PG13 rating.
Bear: Oh! Okay, she's got a bod that turns me every way but off, but at first she wouldn't stop talking. Then she offered to do my laundry, and except for my Mom, no broad ever said that to me before.
Cupid: This one is also for both of you. How long did it take you to know your true feelings for the other? At what point did you know, “this is the one”?
Flo: The minute Bear’s pick-up cleared LA I knew I couldn't go back to living alone again. But is Bear the one and only for me? He could be, but I don't know for sure. I think he loves watching sports on TV more than me.
Bear: Babe, I turned off a basketball game to come down here today. What do I have to do to make you happy?
Flo: You could say you love me.
Bear: Hey, I never heard my Dad say that to my Mom. Basque dudes are tough and they don't walk around spouting that love stuff.
Cupid: Bear, what would you say was your biggest obstacle to overcome before you could settle into a relationship with Flo?
Bear: Before we met I got along pretty well with two pair of 501's and five or six tee shirts. She's always after me to buy some new clothes. And there's my truck! She thinks I should wash it every weekend, when the really good football games are on TV.
Flo: Bear Zabarte, if it wasn't for me you'd still be a crummy bartender at the Old Globe Saloon. I kept after Pinky 'til that pip-squeak paid you a decent salary for doing all his dirty investigative work.
Bear: I guess your right there. Pinky's a little basta . . .
Bear: Right. Pinky's a small dude who's a giant pain in the butt.
Cupid: This is for either of you. Would you like to thank anyone – other than me, of course – for getting you two together?
Flo: J. Pincus Delmont, that's Pinky. Like I told you, he's the lawyer who sent Bear to LA to investigate the murder of Clark's brother. That's where we met. Oh, I guess I told you that story before.
Bear: Yup, that was Pinky. He's done two good things for me. First, he got me off from that phony second-degree murder rap, and then he sent me to LA where I met Flo.
Cupid: I know our readers have enjoyed learning about you two so far, but I’m getting a little bored, so I’m going to heat things up. Flo, how would you end this sentence, "I wish Bear would _____?" *leans forward to eagerly hear your response*
Flo (smiling): Massage suntan lotion on my back when I lay by the pool. He's got great hands and my man really knows how to use them.
Cupid: Now that’s one of the best responses I’ve heard on this side of the blog. Bear, would you prefer to give Flo a bubble bath or a back massage? Why?
Bear: A bubble bath 'cause when I rub her back all her best parts are on the other side.
Cupid: Okay…*clears throat and adjusts his position in the chair* Let’s continue. How many of you remember that old show, The Newlywed Game? Well, these next questions are going to help us play a similar game. Bear, what would Flo say is your aphrodisiac? *waggles eyebrows*
Bear: Watching her get naked.
Cupid: Flo, is he right? How would you have answered that question?
Flo: I'd appreciate a dinner out, with candlelight and a nice bottle of wine first.
Bear: Okay, a dinner with candles, but then we go home and get naked.
Cupid: You two just crack me up! *crosses ankles and rubs his chin* Bear, what would Flo say is a spot guaranteed to drive you crazy with passion? Is she correct in that assumption?
Bear: It's not a spot, it's a thing. All she has to do is unsnap her bra.
Flo: He's right. It doesn't take much to light Bear's match.
Cupid: It’s good to see you two getting along so well! Flo, as far as you know, what is Bear’s idea of a perfect date?
Flo: The all-you-can-eat buffet spread at the Nugget, that man loves to eat, then home, and if there are no sports on TV, trying to convince me to take my clothes off.
Cupid: Bear, is she correct? If not, what is your idea of a perfect date?
Bear: Yup! That'd hit the spot.
Cupid: Bear, your turn in the hot seat. What is Flo’s idea of a perfect date?
Bear: Once, when Flo was mad at me, Pinky told me I should buy her flowers and take her out to a nice restaurant. Pinky's been married a bunch of times so he knows more about that dating crap. We mostly go out for a Pizza or the all-you can-eat buffet at the Nugget.
Cupid: Flo, is he correct? If not, what is your idea of a perfect date?
Flo: Like I said, dinner in a real restaurant, with candles and fine wine, not another anchovy Pizza while we watch TV.
Cupid: The next two questions are for both of you. What's the most romantic thing your lover has ever done for you?
Flo: Bear's not the romantic type. He's more the, me Tarzan, you Jane, now take your loincloth off.
Bear: Remember that first kick-ass breakfast you made for me in LA. You fried up some bacon and eggs and you were wearing your robe, and you didn't have anything on underneath, and after breakfast we . . .
Cupid: Stop right there. I think we get the picture. If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
Flo: Holding hands while we walk together in the moonlight.
Bear: Hey, we live in Carson City. On the edge of the Nevada desert. I don't see how stumbling over rocks at night is romantic?
Cupid: Bear, that’s the point about moonlight. It’s usually bright enough so you won’t trip on the rocks in your path. Have the two of you had time to settle into any Valentine's Day traditions?
Flo: A year ago I gave him a beautiful Valentine's Day card and signed it with love and kisses. I'm going to do the same this year.
Bear: I remember that card and what we did after. This year I'll get you a card like that but I can't remember the month for Valentine's Day. Is it March or April?
Flo: It's the month after Super Bowl.
Bear: Oh, February.
Flo: Cupid, I rest my case.
Cupid: Remember Bear, the Super Bowl is on February 6th this year… Anyway, thanks to Bear and Flo for joining us today. We hope you’ll check out their story, The Bloody Birthright and The Big Showstopper.
Thanks again to Cupid, and to Bear and Flo for a great interview! We've had tons of fun and we hope you have too!